In Romans 8:26-28, Paul discusses a kind of prayer that is markedly different than other kind of prayer. This post is about that.
What this post is NOT:
This post is NOT medical advice for those suffering from severe depression, anxiety, or other mental conditions.
This post is NOT advice to follow the practice of chanting, like is done in some eastern religions.
This post is NOT in agreement with the Christian idea that the Holy Spirit “moans over us” without our participation.
This post is NOT about praying in tongues.
With these “NOTS” in mind, let’s go to our source passage in Romans 8.
Paul’s words in Romans 8:26 (with context):
Romans 8:22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And He Who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. 28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
I’d like to begin by saying that Jesus was referred to as a “Man of Sorrows” by the prophet Isaiah.
“He was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised, and we did not care.” (Isaiah 53:3, NLT)
My Own Experience
I have been a believer my entire life, so I do not have a “conversion experience”. And yet, this understanding I am about to share is a very recent revelation for me. In my 60-some-years of following Christ and reading the Bible (sometimes very deeply), this has never been brought to light as I am about to show it now. I never read this in any books or heard it in any sermons. It is just something that I learned from my own basic knowledge of the Word and my own experience in prayer time—perhaps with His gift of knowledge that I operate under as well. I hope that this does not negate my teaching for you.
We are looking at moaning, grieving, wailing, or groaning within. Sometimes it has no audible utterance accompanying it—making it truly internal. Sometimes, the noise can be quite loud. It might be a very deeply felt experience, or not so deeply felt.
The subject of the prayer could be memories from the past that affect me now. It could be a current situation that I am going through. Or it could be a fear, trepidation, or anxiety over the future. Timing does not matter.
It could be regarding me, or it could be over someone else, or some situation. There are literally zero boundaries holding this in. So don’t try to put any stipulations on what this refers to. It could be anything that you pray for — regularly or one time.
The Common Misunderstanding Taught in Church
No doubt, you have been taught that this passage in Romans 8:26 is saying that the Holy Spirit prays over us in a manner that does not require any input from us. That is unfortunate, since prayer is ALWAYS something that WE DO. Prayer is us aligning ourselves with God and his Will. This is no different than that. In fact, it is central to this thing I am sharing with you. But please do not think that the Holy Spirit is merely praying for you without your input. At least, that is not what I have learned firsthand from this passage. To believe that is to remove yourself from the equation and that is never God’s intention. If that were the case, why pray at all? Do you see how such a thought diminishes our walk with God?
My Walk with God
As I go through this life and learn to hate sin (first my own, then that of others), I too — like Jesus — have become a “man of sorrows”. I grieve for my fellow man, both saved and unsaved. I grieve for myself and my own sinful state. And it is through that intense reaction to this sinful world (and my flesh) that this realization found its place in my heart.
I tend to begin my day with prayer. Not at the breakfast table or at my desk, but in my bed, often before I even open my eyes. I also tend to end my day, before drifting off to sleep, in the same prayer-state. This is a time of great communion with God for me. It is when I have my most intimate of moments with Him on a regular (daily) basis. I highly recommend such practice for all of His followers and children. And this is when I get many of my most profound epiphanies or personal instructions from God.
As a long-time sufferer of depression and anxiety, due to a long career in a stressful environment (Air Traffic Control), I am well acquainted with both conditions. I am much better now — in a state of remission from both — but the tendency to fall back into one or the other still exists for me. While this has nothing to do really with what I am sharing now, it is how I came to this understanding.
The Method
So here it is. While praying, I have many times begun to moan, wail, or emit some sound of pain for whatever I was praying about. It is not a manner of praying in tongues, as many Pentecostals might submit. I was so overwhelmed by emotion that words would not come and all I could utter was this moaning sound. But here’s the thing: God knew what I was saying in my heart, just as much or more than I did. And I definitely know what I am praying about, even if the words do not come. In fact, since Holy Spirit is with me 24/7/365 (for 60-some years now) He is intimately aware of every facet of my life. And since He loves me more than I do, just as Father and Jesus do, He can convey my prayers to them directly in a more refined and complete manner than I ever could (in any state) with greater feeling than I could ever muster. So, I know what I am praying about and so does God. But if you were right next to me, you would have no clue. This is not a kind of corporate prayer with other people. DON’T USE IT WITH OTHERS WHILE PRAYING! You can be near others, but don’t do it to show off to them. This is NOT praying in tongues.
I know that I am loved by God deeply. The depth of His love is unfathomable (unknowable). He is on my side and is not sitting in heaven judging me. He is with me, here in the world, feeling my pain right along with me every step and moment of the way. Yes, He judges my actions, just as I should and others should. But He is not judgmental toward me. There is a difference.
And since God is all-knowing in His three Persons, He knows what I need long before I ask.
“When you pray, don’t babble on and on as the Gentiles do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!” (Matthew 6:7-8, NLT)
And don’t think that this is some kind of manipulation of God to get what I want, like a crying toddler throwing a fit. That would be ridiculous. God cannot be moved by our efforts to move Him if he does not want to be moved.
For God said to Moses, “I will show mercy to anyone I choose, and I will show compassion to anyone I choose.” So it is God who decides to show mercy. We can neither choose it nor work for it. (Romans 9:15-16, NLT)
No, this is a child of the Living God, crying out to Him from a place of helplessness. And THAT is a condition that God accepts from us. In fact, it is the default position we should find ourselves in at all times.
God doesn’t need our lengthy, eloquently worded prayers. He doesn’t need our prayers at all (or anything else from us). He doesn’t need our prayers to be specifically worded for the particular situation with the precision of a legal document. He desires our hearts to be open to Him as they are: fallen and needy. He expects our dependence upon Him in all things, because that is our true state. What did Paul say about praying?
“Never stop praying.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17, NLT)
And
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7, NLT)
Are you getting this, child of God? This is speaking from the heart so directly that words fail you. All you can do is groan and moan. It doesn’t need to be super-saturated with emotion either. It just needs to be very real. It needs to be very deep within you. And if you’re one of those followers of the prosperity crowd, you can drop that right now. That is offensive to no end. This is not seeking favor with God—He already favors you more than you deserve. This is not seeking prosperity or advantage from God—He will provide you with exactly what he intends to, no more, no less. This is not placing curses on others—that is witchcraft and has no place in the heart of a child of God. And this is not manipulation of God—for He can never be manipulated by man.
No, this is you talking to your Father about what matters most to you. It is about you aligning yourself with the WILL of GOD above all things. If that is your heart, then what He told us through Paul in Romans 8:28 will be realized in your life. Don’t know it? Look at the top of this post.
Conclusion
God searches your heart before you even know what you want yourself. He is far ahead of you in the most intimate matters of your very soul (the deepest part of you). So don’t begin to think that you can manipulate Him into some condition or situation. That is ludicrous. Rather, know that He is above you, around you, and inside your deepest parts—with you, not against you. If that does not comfort you, then you might not be right with God.
I hope this has helped you to reach a new level of prayer with God. Alone prayer; not prayer with others.
Your servant in Christ,
Gary
