From the Book, Rules For Life: According To Jesus

27. Settle Disputes Between Believers 

“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.  But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses.  If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.”  

Matthew 18:15-17

Last section was about disputes between a believer and an unbeliever. Although this section is about disputes between believers, the first element of this method is good for dealing with unbelievers as well. 

Going to a person privately (I would add calmly, lovingly, and with an open mind—ready to forgive) is a very important step in conflict management. Perhaps the whole thing was due to a misunderstanding; perhaps the other person was totally innocent; it could have been a mistake; there’s any number of reasons why you need to find out what the other person’s side of the story is right away. 

This important first step can work to alleviate most problems before any further issues arise. NOT doing this first step can cause the issue to become much bigger than it should. It also has the potential to remove all drama from breaking out over what occurred. And doing this privately, just keeping it between the two of you, will quash it from expanding into a larger situation with others being involved and gossip breaking out all over the place. Entire churches have broken up because two people didn’t handle their dispute in a biblical manner (this way). 

Like all issues, this one is a matter of the heart. If the offender is being shameless, it’s a problem and he/she needs to go. If the offense was unintentional, and/or the offender repents, it can be put to bed very quickly. 

Unfortunately, church is no different than any other group of people. This is not how is should be, but I’m just keeping in line with what I’ve observed in American churches. Perhaps the worst part of this is when those involved don’t act like Christ; they don’t follow this command or most of the others. If everyone in the church were to do what Jesus commanded us, we wouldn’t even have disputes within. 

Therefore, these commands become paramount in having a healthy, loving Church. One that IS set apart from the rest of society. Read what Paul wrote about this:

When one of you has a dispute with another believer, how dare you file a lawsuit and ask a secular court to decide the matter instead of taking it to other believers! …

Even to have such lawsuits with one another is a defeat for you. Why not just accept the injustice and leave it at that? Why not let yourselves be cheated?  Instead, you yourselves are the ones who do wrong and cheat even your fellow believers.

See all of 1 Corinthians 6:1-11

I could really write an entire book about this one subject. But as you can see, I’ve reached the end of the page. 

Previous – Settle Disputes Quickly | Next – Do not Oppose Brethren

Sections in this study:
Introduction
1: Repent
2: Be Born Again
3: Place God First
4: Love and Serve One Another
5: Live By Faith
6: Forgive Others
7: Remain in Jesus
8: Live Righteously Before Men
9: Avoid Bad Influences
10: Stay On The Narrow Path
11: Do Not Return Evil With Evil
12: Give More Than Is Demanded
13: Love Your Enemies
14: Check Your Motives
15: Pray Simply
16: Do Not Worry
17: Store Up Treasures In Heaven
18: Do Not Be Judgmental
19: Guard what is Sacred
20: Care For Those In Distress
21: Do Not Swear Oaths
22: Watch out for false prophets
23: Exercise Spiritual Power
24: Have Childlike Faith
25: Do Not Exalt Yourself
26: Settle Disputes Quickly
27: Settle Disputes Between Believers
28: Do not Oppose Brethren
29: Remember Me
30: Be Merciful
31: Make Disciples
32: Be Ready
33: Obey Jesus’ Commands
Closing Comments